My Tagaytay Retreat

Once, Beethoven met a blind girl. He wanted to describe to her how the moon looks like. Using music, the language he knew best, he composed the Moonlight Sonata. Thanks to that desire, the blind girl, together with the entire world, can now appreciate the beauty, the mystery and the soothing effect of the moon even without using their sense of sight.  I also wish to describe a beautiful experience I recently had. But I cannot claim mastery in any language, so I hope you bear with me as I attempt to describe my experience with words. I had discovered a long time ago that I love writing but I am still trying to convince writing to love me 

Yearly, I go on a retreat to pause and do an overhaul of my soul and also my body. In this fast paced and frenzied world that we live in, I need this respite to see what has been happening in my life – both seen and unseen by others, the past year. This way, I understand myself more and get to synchronize my choices and decisions with the path that my Creator and Lord has called me to take.   

To make a good retreat, one cannot just take care of the spirit. The body has to be in it too. Ah, how I cherish those days when I had the luxury of an eight-hour sleep! Moving about in Metro Manila 24/7, if I’m not so organized (and I’m often not so organized), hardly gives me a six-hours sleep daily. So I welcomed the long nights and the cool temperature in Tagaytay. Oh, how I always looked forward to burrow and dream under the thick blanket each night! The right amount and quality of sleep kept me awake and alert during the day; enough to allow me to have a leisurely conversation with my God about my frustrations and hurts and doubts and dreams and loves. But it is not enough that I talk and talk and talk. I need a lot of listening too. An adequate sleep may not be enough to do that. So the other measure I took is to drink Batangas brewed coffee for breakfast and lunch together with the healthy and interesting meals served to us. I also took advantage of having a 30 minute jog every morning to facilitate better circulation of my usually languid anemic blood.

Jogging everyday is a taste of heaven. What with the fresh air and the relaxing environment. While jogging along the paved running lane, I was welcomed by the scent of the freshly cut grass on my first day. Also, I observed that the formerly baby pine trees I appreciated the last time I was in Tagaytay have grown tall enough to offer one some shade from the sun. Daily, my eyes also relished the different shades of the mayana plant, the Australian bush and the violet, pink, white, red and yellow colors of the tiny flowers along the way that breaks the different hues of green that dominates the huge garden. It was very enjoyable to jog while being kissed by the pleasant heat of the sun and end it with a flushed face and a skin shining with perspiration without smelling like Grade one pupils after their play.

With lots of water and physical exercises, I had a good cleansing of my body. The general confession I made on my first day of the retreat, on the other hand, cleansed my spirit. All throughout, I also did a lot of spiritual exercises – daily Mass, Holy Rosary, meditations, spiritual reading, listening to talks, contemplating Christ’s Passion and Death during the Way of the Cross and a more prodding during the examination of my conscience. These spiritual exercises left my spirit looking forward to the challenges of the coming year. I still have the same concerns at work, the same body to discipline everyday and the same swings of emotions on certain moments but the retreat brought with it new hope, new drive to struggle, and a renewed love for life.  

Care for a retreat too?

Quiet Time

Nothing is permanent in this world but CHANGE. Who said that?... Anyway, control freak that I am, even if I know this is true, I try to control the major changes that happen in my life. One of which is my recent transfer back to Manila. Much as I love nature tripping in Negros, I thought a change of environment will do me good. So last year, I requested that my job assignment be in Manila again. This will facilitate some plans that I have in the near future. Even if I requested for the change and even if I am used to life in a big city, still, I found myself not so prepared when the change happened. I had everything calculated. But I was called back two weeks earlier than I expected. And my job assignment is in Makati – a city quite different from Manila and Quezon City that used to be my workplace and home respectively. Since the transfer was two weeks earlier, I literally just threw my basic personal things in my luggage on the day of my flight. (I couldn’t pack earlier because I still had a long list of pending things to do.) The not so urgent things, I left behind in boxes to be shipped at a later day.
My first week was filled with daily little mishaps. On my way to find that best route commuting from Taft to Makati, I got lost almost everyday. I don’t know my way around in Makati. It didn’t help that I didn’t take time to study a road map and I just always felt my way through and relied on other people’s directions. This is very much different from my ten minute walk to work in Bacolod or my ten to fifteen minute jeepney ride to my other part-time job in the same city. By the end of the week, I found a term to describe Makati – a huge maze.
I describe my reaction to my new job set-up as a mixture of “in awe” and overwhelmed. Although it’s basically the same job description with supposedly the same standards as my previous workplace, the needs of the people I need to cater to are a lot more demanding. Being new and being aware that my staff is trying to measure me up added to my discomposure. Discoveries and adjustments happened so fast in the first days. There’s just so much organizing and planning and actions that need to be done. As I go home each day, I found myself dead tired. I felt I was a headless chicken running around and just going with the current. By the end of the week, I had enough. My being was clamouring for a quiet time. And quiet time I tried to have on my 2nd Sunday in Manila and the next Sundays onwards.
Thanks to a seminar I attended last summer, I am aware of the wonders of having a quiet time. As the speaker in that seminar said, we need a quiet time to acquaint, know and refine our inner world. To have intimacy with one’s self is necessary to have an authentic human life. In this world where one can have things at a click of a button, we can get used to living a superficial life and, even virtual life, devoid of interactions and intimacies that make us human beings far superior from our “Smart” gadgets.
After trying to strictly have my “quiet time”, I became more patient with myself and hopeful that in the near future, these changes and disorder caused by the changes will fall into place. Below are some questions that can help us live a “quiet time”:
Do I keep work hours to a certain number so that I can have quiet time?
Am I able to focus on my task at hand without interruptions from the use of mobile phone, internet, music, etc.?
Do I reserve quiet time to read literature or humanistic essays?
Do I seek the company of others to feel at ease?
Am I uneasy with just reading without conversing?
Do my conversations revolve around things and people?
Do my conversations remain at the level of just on the surface, what appears to the senses?
Am I at ease being alone to reflect (not alone to do things, such as to surf the web, to work)?
To rest my mind in my free time, do I surf the TV or news, the web, or check facebook and similar sites?

The RH Bill: A Legislation with good-sounding objectives

George W. Bush once said: "It is a sad fact of political life today that bad legislation sometimes becomes law because of politics. No one wants to be the bad guy who vetoes a bill with a good-sounding name... Even worse, this bill not only sounded good, it did have some good as well... The legislation had a great name . How noble. How sound. How difficult to veto."
As Congress debates on the RH Bill these days, our undecided congressmen might also be having the same dilemma as then Texas Governor Bush when he was deciding to veto a legislation on Patient Protection against HMO's.
In our case, who would want to go against a law that will protect and promote the basic right of parents to freely and responsibly plan the number and spacing of their children? Who would want to go against a law that will help lower the incidence of abortion? Who would want to go against a law which want to reduce infant deaths, promote safe motherhood and prevent the spread of the dreaded HIV and AIDS? Who in her right mind want her people to die in poverty?
I am a woman and a nurse by profession. I think womanhood is fascinating. And I take every opportunity to promote the cause of the women. I believe that parents should be responsible in matters that affect their children. And I also believe that we should fight the woes the RH bill wishes to fight. But I am NOT for the passage of the RH Bill and I hope our respected congresswomen and congressmen will NOT make this into a law.
Much as the objectives mean very well for the people, especially the women, its means to achieve the objectives are simply not right - many are even offensive. Yes, there are noble provisions in it, but the offensive parts outweigh the good ones. Although the RH Bill proponents believe that population is the cause of poverty, many studies by note-worthy economists also state that there is no co-relation between population and development. Some even believe that the more young population there is, the more possibilities there will be for progress. Many RH Bill proponents also believe that human life begins at implantation. That is why they do not believe that IUDs and many hormonal contraceptives can cause abortion. But what about many of us who believe that human life begins at fertilization? These above mentioned modern means of family planning render the uterus hostile for implantation - thus human life can be aborted. Our consciences will not allow us from cooperating with evil. This bill will force us to give up our hard earned money through taxes to fund the purchase of these evil means. This is government stifling our right to practice our faith. Mandatory sex-education. Have you read their module? It teaches that religion is an obstacle to one's freedom. Condoms. Thanks to the false security condoms gives, Thailand, where the condom king lives, has now one of the highest incidence of HIV/AIDS in the world. As to maternal health, my direct exposure to the community as a nurse taught me that it’s not the number of children that makes a family healthy. It’s having love, education and work. Do you want to ensure safe pregnancy and delivery? Hire government health workers that do not threaten mothers giving birth that they won't be accommodated again if they get pregnant soon. One poor mother because of the threat, gave birth the following year to her home without medical help. We had to bring her to the hospital...
The bill, for all its good-sounding objectives, would like to change the Filipino culture. With the passage of this bill, we are opening our doors wide to licentiousness and immorality where there is no place for a Provident God. The future generation, those who will be allowed by their parents who are playing God, to be born (because many will not have a chance) will live in a world where values like chastity, fidelity and self-control are unknown. With the passage of this bill, soon we will witness mothers, when their teenage daughters go to parties, instead of saying: “Be careful, dear. Enjoy but behave. Know your limits” We will hear: “Be careful, dear. Enjoy, don’t forget to bring condoms.” (By the way, this line was heard some years back from a mother in New York where the contraceptive mentality is very much alive). This implies that having sex even if you're not married, is okay as long as you don't get pregnant. Will the contraceptives be available for free only for married couples? No. It will be available for everyone. It will be available for children without their parents' knowledge. It will be available to BPO workers who want to have free sex/casual sex after a few drinks. "Safe sex" without love, without commitments... Have you read this line some months ago:"Keep your rosaries away from our ovaries!" Is this Filipino culture? It sounds like coming from Margaret Sanger's world. But I read it here in our country. This bill will encourage this oh so un-Filipino mentality.
I hope our respected congresswomen and congressmen will be brave enough to say No to this bill with good-sounding objectives. I hope you realize that this is bad legislation. We are behind you. We will show our appreciation in the next elections. Please do not exchange our future to pressures from outside, the same people whom they say are ready to pay you 10 million pesos each just to have this bill approved. They will gain back these millions in a short time because the government will be buying millions of modern family planning devices from them.
To close, I'd again like to borrow former US Pres. George W. Bush's words: "You see, the strength of a society should not be measured only in the wealth it accumulates or the technology it develops. The strength of a society should be measured in the values its people share." We're not even sure that this bill will bring in wealth to our people. I know the Philippines is a place where people hold fast to basic values. "People can improve their lives through hard work and education. All must know they have a chance to succeed. It does not happen when they are at the mercy of outside forces; it happens when they realize they have a worth, a dignity, and a free will given by God, not by government. "
"Government cannot solve all our problems. The real answer to improving people’s lives is found in the hearts of decent, caring people who have heard the call to love their neighbours as they would like to be loved themselves. "
"Children must be educated in right from wrong. They must learn to say yes to responsibility, yes to family, yes to honesty and work... And no to drugs, no to violence, no to promiscuity or having babies out of wedlock. "
Our dear congresswomen and congressmen. Please say NO to the RH Bill.